|
It Takes a Village to Raise Five Boys
(and paint their home in one day!)
It is 11 p.m. I am dead tired after a long day’s work followed by parenting my four-year-old twin boys. But it’s another hour until bedtime for me. The emails are flying, and I am in the middle of an organizing frenzy with a group of equally manic women online this evening. We are in the midst of planning a good, old-fashioned barn-raising of the urban sort: apartment painting and large-scale babysitting to be more exact. If all goes according to plan, this coming Sunday will see a family in our community experience the true meaning of Christmas, as a small army of supporters gather around to bring the mountain to Mohammad, so to speak!
Alex & Simon w/ their buddies, March 2007
A Remarkable Woman
I first met Aysha and her family several years ago, when she was pregnant with triplets. Her twin boys had just turned four, and she and her husband had decided to try for the elusive girl, bringing their brood to three. Instead, they were blessed with three more boys, a bit of a strained blessing, given their already crowded two-bedroom apartment! Fast forward three years, and we find Aysha and her family in an equally crowded three-bedroom town home with two 7-year-old boys, and three 3-year-old boys! Finally the many high chairs are gone, the last of the diapers are making their way to the trash, and the walls and furniture are showing signs of wear and tear that only a family with five boys can inflict on them.
I’ll admit my family’s relationship with this remarkable clan is a superficial one; I drop off the odd lasagne or chilli casserole, we try to get the kids together while the adults work through our language and culture barriers a few times a year, and each Christmas I arrange a few small donations so that the children can have gifts to open on December 25th. In the past, colleagues from work, strangers from the Internet and others have taken up the call. But this holiday season I am overwhelmed with the extent of this family’s need. They never ask for anything, but the desperation is painfully obvious the moment one steps through the door. Thankfully the past year has seen the growing involvement of a few women from the local twins club I belong to. As was I, they, too, are drawn in by Aysha’s warm smile and her family’s infectious humour and positive outlook, despite their often anxious circumstances. And of course, who can resist those three cute little triplets?! (Toilet-training that could at best be described as “marginally successful”, and three toddlers running in all directions while the older two play “jumping” on the couches and on each other, can be endearing when they’re not your own kids and you can leave after a short visit!)
Extended Family Project is Born!
A few months after unleashing these other women onto Aysha, I am amazed by the depth and breadth of their commitment. Not only have they taken Mom and the little ones to a local drop in, they also arrange to pick up the older two with some regularity to play at their homes so that Aysha and her husband can have a break with “just” the triplets on occasion. But now the dreariness of the run-down town home has worn them down too, and they have decided it needs to be painted. Immediately.
Painting a home with five little ones in it is no easy task! Not only are there logistics and financial considerations of furniture to be moved, colours to be selected and paint and supplies to be purchased, but there is also the question of what to do with five boys so they won’t get underfoot on painting day(s). The first solution to this complex problem is finding a donor to supply all paint and equipment. One of the Moms in question has been successful in doing so; High Park Wallpaper and Paint Centre has  generously agreed to donate everything needed for this part of the adventure. Next it is time to find several willing and able bodies to prep the home and paint the very next day so that the project can be completed in as little time as possible. This is accomplished with the help of a group email to our local twins group through TPOMBA, enlisting the help of several members. (We all know twins are hard, so when you hear about twins plus triplets, we are generally prepared to do whatever is needed!) A friend of one of the organizers has even agreed to donate pizza for the painters. (At time of printing, we are still working on finding a beer donor!)
Caring for the Little Ones & Other Details
Once the painting logistics have been confirmed and a date set, it is time to find one or more babysitters to occupy the little charges while their parents and the volunteer crew paint. My husband and I, both being teachers and used to large throngs of children in one place, agree to handle the kid end of things. Thankfully another mother has found us a play place donation of two hours FREE playtime, and a friend with a large car has been convinced to pick up boys from said play place and transfer them to church afterwards where we can while away another hour and a half. (We are still hammering out the details of a plan for the afternoon of that glorious day when we’ll have Aysha’s five boys plus our own two for upwards of 10 hours!)
While several of us are plotting our elaborate painting and babysitting scheme, the more creative and donor-savvy have been out soliciting contributions for under the family’s Christmas tree as well as the more practical items needed by their growing brood: A bed! (The triplets are really too big for their cribs, but three single beds are neither affordable to the family, nor do they fit into the small room the little boys share!) This evening’s email confirms that Sleep Country has generously donated not only a queen size bed, but a mattress as well. Excellent! I also learn that St George on the Hill has given $500 towards groceries and toys and books, and another generous donor who just wanted to give back to a family, has bought toys, books, and much needed winter clothing for all (plus more groceries). A stranger I met last year online has gone shopping with her children and has sent a care package of small gifts for the family, and the local Sobey’s store Manager has agreed to add a few groceries to the donated dollars trickling in from others touched by this story. Incredible, that so many strangers have come together to help in such meaningful ways.
My fingers fly across the keyboard as I remind one of the lead painters to remember her camera – donors always like to receive photos of their donations in action after the fact so they can show them off to family, friends and clientele. I am also thinking about the forgotten factors in this equation: Aysha and her husband! We would love to send them out for a “day off”; remarkably, they’ve not been on a date without children in years, and a day alone to rediscover each other would be the perfect Christmas gift for this humble pair.
This last part of the story is not yet written... we are hopeful that readers might feel compelled to play their part in this little drama by providing limo service, restaurant vouchers, tickets to a play, or anything else that might bring this remarkable couple close together this holiday season and regenerate their individual and collective souls that they might gain the strength needed for the coming years with five growing boys! Please see below for contact info.
Vera C. Teschow is a full time teacher, and the mother of four-year-old Alex and Simon. She also runs “Get It Together!” a pre- and post-natal consulting service for families with multiples. Please visit her online at www.verateschow.com
If you are able to help this family in any way, please email Vera.
CLICK HERE FOR THE FOLLOW-UP STORY!
To respect the privacy of this family, a pseudonym has been used.
|
